It was the first time in my life that my very vocal personality was no longer going to be 'selling' itself to a corporation. Prosperous became a state of being that no longer applied to me. A cloud of insecurity came over me. Having defined myself by what I did for so long, I didn't know who I was anymore.
Then I remembered that I had created the Corporate Me all those years ago and since the world is still full of opportunities, I figured I could create whatever 'Me' was to come next. About the same time, Kundalini Yoga fell into my lap. Yippee I thought, I will create the Yogi-Me! I can market myself as a guide, coach, healer, therapist - and there will be plenty of people who will pay for my services. A chance to build those financial reserves magically appeared.
Within one year I applied myself to the teachings, got certified as a teacher and therapist and wrote a business plan. I scouted the market, began networking locally, gave courses, coached private clients. I was busy again and thought for sure, on my way to prosperity. What I didn't realize was that in my little world of busy,
I was a crash waiting to happen.
And it did. I could no longer function as before. It was like I had cement shoes on. I was completely static. My mind became confused. My body signalled a traffic jam. I lost my ability to communicate. I fell into silence.
I spent the summer close to home. Seeking help from inside as to what was going on. I realized that I could no longer DO. My consciousness had changed. My health, my attitude, my interests revolved around very basic things - day by day awareness of what Be-ing actually meant. So I walked and reflected in the sunshine or sat and looked out at the rain steaming up the streets.
One day, on impulse I checked into the origins of the word prosperity, which of course in my mind I always linked with material wealth. In the Old Latin I found a closer-to-the heart definition. The roots pro + spere bring us "according to expectation". This was an AHA-experience for me. My soul had been giving me new messages about prosperity. That life which I previously designed according to what I thought and what social consciousness dictated was no longer fitting for me. My expectations had changed.
It was the silence, the stuck-ness, that allowed my heart and my soul to fill the space with a new awareness about prosperity.
Prosperity is a feeling!
It's the fuzzy feeling of knowing that everything is okay just the way it is. Knowing that being a yogi doesn't mean I have to create a whole new business. It's okay if I enjoy having a few private clients and spend the rest of my time enjoying life. Prosperity is the secure feeling of knowing money is energy and therefore not only in the bank if I put it there, but it is everywhere in all kinds of forms. Prosperity is the confident feeling that comes from knowing I can change the state of my health for the better by changing my inner self-talk. Prosperity is the warm feeling from the inner light of knowing that I am loved. And it's that outward radiance that others feel when I walk by.
Prosperity means allowing myself to live each day on my terms. Soul mission terms.
Prosperity means I feel prosperous. I am prosperity.